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1. TIME
IT RIGHT
It is completely acceptable to register as soon as you get engaged. This is
great for guests who would like to purchase a gift for any pre-wedding
celebration -- engagement parties, showers, brunches -- or for people who’d
just like to send something as a token of their congratulations.
2. KNOW THYSELF
Don’t be a slave to traditional registry lists. If you never cook at home
but love to camp, it makes more sense to register for a tent than to request
crystal goblets. But be open to the fact that your tastes may change in the
future. Even though you can’t imagine the need at this moment in your life
for that glass trifle bowl, it may become indispensable for future dinner
party desserts.
3. TAKE STOCK
Make a list of what both of you have and will keep -- and what you still
need and want. Consider the need for “everyday” and “formal” versions of
dinnerware, glassware, table linens, and serving items. Important: Discuss
what level of formality you want and general color schemes or patterns
before you begin.
4. INTERVIEW THE STORE
Speak up and ask: Is the gift-getting process hassle-free for buyers? How
many locations does the store have? Can your list be faxed to faraway
guests? Can they order by phone or fax? Does the store have a toll-free
number? Better yet, will your registry be available online? Can guests
purchase gifts online?
5. LOOK FOR PERKS
Before choosing where to register, find out what kinds of perks you might
get. For example, some retailers offer what’s called a completion program
that allows you to fill in whatever you don’t receive at a discount (10 to
15 percent off, for up to a year after the wedding).
6. CHOOSE MORE THAN ONE SPOT
One is not enough, 10 is too many. Two to four registries give guests more
choices, and it’s a manageable number. To make it easy on yourself and
others, pick one store for bedding, another for china, and so on. This will
prevent you from signing up for the same items at different stores.
7. SEAL THE DEAL
Once you pick your store(s), you’ll need to set up an appointment to
register. Some stores will assign you a registry specialist who will lead
you around and help you stay on track. Some larger retailers allow couples
to register by themselves with the aid of a hand-held scanner. While this
removes the pressure of a salesperson looking over your shoulder, you may
appreciate the expert advice from someone knowledgeable.
8. DO IT TOGETHER
The two of you should be registering for gifts you’ll both enjoy. To decide
on what you need, talk about the style of home you’d both like, and divide
and conquer categories (maybe he gets to choose electronics, while she gets
to choose the bedding). And don't let mom drag you around -- in this case,
she may not know best.
9. KNOW YOUR GUESTS
Be sure to register for items in a range of prices so that people can choose
gifts within their means. Provide a mix of goods: Think traditional for
older relatives, affordable and fun for college pals. It may sound a bit
manipulative, but you’ve got to make your registry choices appealing -- and
easy for your guests to buy.
10. OVER REGISTER
To satisfy gift needs for showers and engagement parties, request more items
than the number of people on your guest list. Having options does not look
greedy: You’re actually doing guests a favor by giving them more choices.
11. TAKE YOUR TIME
Couples who try to register in a rush may later regret their choices -- or
miss items they need. Be sure to budget plenty of time for browsing and
debating. You can always add to your list at a later time.
12. GET PLENTY OF PLATES
It’s a good idea to request eight to 12 place settings of dishes. Dinner
parties are most successful with six to eight people, but if you have a
large family and plan on entertaining during holidays, you may want more.
13. GUIDE THE GIFT-GIVING
A good point to keep in mind when you first register is to sign up for
products you really want or need, like your china place settings. Then as
the items on your checklist start to dwindle, add more. That way you won't
be stuck with a gravy boat, when instead you really need those extra salad
plates.
14. CHECK UP ON YOUR PEERS
Looking for a good point of reference? Browse the registries of couples you
know who have recently tied the knot. You'll be able to see what was
actually purchased, and what items guests steered clear of.
15. KNOW YOUR LINGO
China is a catchall term often used to describe dinnerware and dishes.
Formal, or fine, china is usually more expensive than casual china, is of a
higher quality, and includes bone china and porcelain. Casual china, such as
earthenware and stoneware, is often less costly and is of lower quality.
16. STAY IN SEASON
If you have longer than one year before the wedding, don’t register for
seasonal items that are replaced every few months. When guests go to
purchase gifts, they may find those things have been discontinued.
17. SIGN UP FOR STORAGE STUFF
Don’t forget to register for things you’ll need to stash your gifts. For
example, you’ll want to store sterling silver and silver-plated flatware in
felt rolls in a silver chest with slotted insets (or a tightly closed
drawer) lined with felt linen to prevent scratching, denting, and
tarnishing.
18. THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
Register for some unexpected but much desired items. How about something for
sports, travel, or art?
19. SHIP SMART
Ask the store if it will ship to any address you designate. That spares
guests the hassle of having to go to a store to pick up your gift and then
to the post office to send it.
20. CHECKOUT AND CHECKUP
Once you’ve finished creating your list, ask for a printout and read it over
carefully to make sure there are no mistakes. Get the business card of the
person who helped you set up your program so that you have a point person
should you have any questions or corrections.
21. LET YOUR GUESTS KNOW
Unfortunately, it’s not appropriate for the bride or groom to ask for
wedding gifts, so you have to be careful with how you let people know where
you’re registered. Never include registry information with your wedding
invitations -- word of mouth is the appropriate way to disseminate this
information. Your registry info can, however, be listed on your bridal
shower invites since the invitation does not come from you, but from the
person hosting the shower. You can also include such details on a wedding
web page.
22. KEEP TRACK
How will the store keep track of your registry? Most retailers have a
system, computerized or not, that will update your registry daily -- taking
from 10 minutes to 48 hours. Visit your registries often to make sure that
purchased gifts have been removed and update your lists with additional
items as gifts are purchased.
23. PLAN FOR LATE SHOPPERS
Ask the store how long your registry list will remain active after the
wedding. Conventional wisdom says that guests have up to one year from your
wedding day to buy a gift, so that’s at least how long your registry should
be kept active.
24. CASH OUT
You can’t ask for specific gifts from your guests, monetary or otherwise. If
guests are curious, they’ll ask someone close to you what you want and the
word will spread that you prefer cash gifts. When writing thank-you notes,
do let the giver know how you intend to spend the money.
25. BE GRACIOUS
Thank-you notes for gifts received before the wedding should be sent within
two weeks of arrival. Notes for gifts received on or after the wedding day
should be sent within a month of your return from the honeymoon.
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